Unrequited Poster Child.

That is what someone called me once... I think in response to reading my more happier poetry. I thought it was funny at the time, to be considered the poster child for anything seemed somewhat comical to me because I always feel so scattered about everything in my life. But I guess that is how he saw me. The hopeless romantic, looking for love in all the wrong places. The restless spirit that will never rest... Unrequited. *sigh* (sighing.. such an unrequited response) *sigh*

I guess I just can't accept that maybe that za za zoom part of life is over. In fact, I know I can't... I just can't! I want the butterflies in my stomach, and that flash of heat burning through my body. Life just can't be a series of chores and tasks, now can it?

Another friend.. not the one who called me the unrequited poster child... sent me a quote today:

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

~ Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernières

I think it's a lovely quote, truly I do. But will I have to wait until I actually take root in the ground to make sense of all this love crap???

Oh, how I yearn for some temporary madness....



*sigh*

(sorry, can't help it)

YOU are a bad blogger....

That is exactly what he said to me.. First words I have ever received from him in as close to real time as we can get at the moment being on opposite coasts and in different time zones...

"You are a bad blogger..."

And he is right.... I am a terrible blogger since one of the basic premises of being a blogger is to actually blog daily or weekly or something. Maybe that's the problem. I'm unclear about the expectations and the rules for being a good blogger... and I so want to be a good blogger...

I know what the problem is.. what my problem is... Time.. and not time to actually write, because I constantly write, it's time to post to blogger. It's blocked at work, and even though I have a Google document for potential blog posts, there is something quite different for me simultaneously creating and posting. I like the danger of hitting the publish button without thinking about things too much, and pushing myself beyond the point of no return. I also tend to think things into oblivion when I write a draft. I write and rewrite and turn it over and over until I no longer find what I wrote funny or clever or worthy of your time and I end up deleting.

So I'm trying something new. Posting in the morning, before coffee...(well, it's perking and I'm going to get up this moment and get a cup, so hold on).. Offering you the lovely flotsam flowing out of my brain the first thing on a Friday morning. Be kind.

(Yikes, what if you still think I'm a bad blogger after I actually write?)

xo

P.S. I may be a bad blogger.. but I'm a fast typist and I can spell my chatty friend from California!! hee hee (luv ya!)

priceless

Rangers Jersey I had to buy at the pro shop to keep you warm when I realized there would be actual ice skating at this birthday party at the ice rink despite the fact we had been there several times before only for laser tag (that will teach me to read the invite carefully)... $75.00

Matching blue gloves.... $5.00

Socks and purple gloves for mom who couldn't let you go out on the ice rink without her when she saw that glimpse of terror on your face when you realized ice was actually slippery despite your initial protesting that you could do this on your own with your friends even though this was your first time ice skating ever... $7.00

Seeing your face as you bravely chased the birthday girl (on whom you are madly crushing) around the rink gripping your cones.... priceless....




(sorry it's so blurry..it's hard to skate and snap pics)

To all the moms who carry credit cards just in case... and to all the momes who don't....

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!

xoxox

Shhh.....I'm playing hookey...

Allergies are getting the best of me, so I'm taking the day off. I'm glad I did so I could sleep and relax! I must remember to check with my neighbors next time I decide to stay home and rest to make sure they are not cutting down trees right outside my window!!! Grrrrrr!!!! Are they kidding me???

Oh well. At least I'm home in my jammies chilling out. I just couldn't deal with work today. Tomorrow, I'll be refreshed and ready! Yea, right... I really shouldn't complain, I only have about 6 weeks left, then I'm off all summer... free to lounge at the lake everyday, and I've decided this summer will be the summer of the pomegranate margarita.

Speaking of work, they have granted me tenure (hooray!) and did not hire back a person who has made the last two years a living hell, which is very good news for many people. My fear is that this psychopathological person will pull some shit and file a law suit or something. I just feel like she has wasted so much of our time as it is with all her crap, and I fear she will not go quietly as its just not her style.

I am an aunt.. again... I have a new niece born yesterday morning... hooray! The tally thus far is 7 nieces and 5 nephews, and I have been asked to be Godmother to one of my nephews which I'm thrilled about. Now to find the coolest gift! I'm thinking of a little leather jacket with a nickname painted on the back... like.. Hawk... yea!

So what have you been up to?

Talk to me....